I did not do it in a carI did not do it in a barI did not do it in the darkI did not do it in the parkI did not do it on a dateI did not ever fornicateI did not do it at a danceI did not do it in her pantsI did not get beyond first baseI did not do it in her faceI never did it in a bedTrust me now, you've been misledI did not do it with a groanI did not do it on the phoneI did not cause her dress to stainI never boinked Saddam HusseinI did not do it with a whipI never fondled Linda TrippI never acted really sillyWith volunteers like Kathleen WilleyThere was one time with Margaret ThatcherI chased her 'round, but could not catch herNo kinky stuff, not on your lifeI wouldn't, even with my wifeGennifer Flowers' tale of woesWas paid for by my right-wing foesAnd Paula Jones, and those State TroopersAre just a bunch of party poopersI did not ask my friends to lieI did not hang them out to dryI did not do it last NovemberBut if I did, I don't rememberI did not do it in the hallI could have, but I don't recallI never did it in my studyI never touched my good dog, BuddyI never did it to Sox, the catI might have once with ArafatI never did it in a hurryI never groped Ms. Betty CurrieThere was no sex at ArlingtonThere was no sex on Air Force OneI might have copped a little feelAnd then endeavored to concealBut never did these things so lewdAt least, not ever in the nudeThese things to which I have confessedThey do not count, if we stayed dressedIt never happened with a cigarI never dated Mrs. StarrI did not know this little sinWould be retold on CNNI broke some rules my Mama taught meI tried to hide, but now you've caught meBut I implore, I do beseechDo not condemn, do not impeachI might have got a little tailBut never once did I inhale.