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Things Never Said by Southerners

-- Duct tape won't fix that.-- Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.-- We don't keep firearms in the house.-- You can't feed that to the dog.-- The kids can't ride in the back of the pickup -- it's just not safe.-- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?-- We're vegetarians.-- Do you think my gut is too big?-- Honey, we don't need another dog.-- Who's Richard Petty?-- We could just share a small bag of pork rinds.-- Too many deer heads detract from the decor.-- I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.-- Is there anything in this restaurant that's NOT fried?-- The tires on that truck are too big.-- I've got it all on the C drive.-- There's too much sugar in this tea.-- Checkmate.-- I believe you cooked those greens too long

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