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Things Your Wife Won't Say

-- The smell of beer on your breath drives me wild.-- I'm bored. Let's shave the p***y.-- I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.-- Let's get a good porno movie, a case of beer, and make an afternoon of it.-- God, if I don't blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!-- I only signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head.-- Let's subscribe to Hustler.-- Let's take pictures so your friends will believe you.-- Honey, our neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again. Come see!-- Awesome fart! Do another one!

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