-- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.-- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving.-- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!-- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.-- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?-- You look just like my girlfriend's deadbeat ex-husband.-- The question is -- do YOU know why you pulled me over?-- I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's miles ahead of me.-- If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not going to tell you, dude.-- It wasn't my fault -- when I reached down to roll this joint, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged under the brake pedal.-- That's a sweet 9mm. You want to hold my .44 magnum?-- If I'd known I was getting a full body cavity search, I would have waxed!