The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

Any computer you can't afford.

Any computer you own.

The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

Apple's new Macs that make you say 'Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.'

Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.

What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced 'gooey')

The standard way to generate computer errors.

An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.