With the success of Viagra, many new performance drugs for men go into development:--PROJECTRA: Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.--COMPLIMENTRA: In clinical trials, 82% of middle-aged men noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.--BUYAGRA: Married men report a sudden urge to buy their wives gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be ascertained: whether the results extend to not minding when women spend money on themselves.--ANTI-AGRA: Promises the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on U.S. Senators.--NOSPORTAGRA: This drug makes men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.--FLATULAGRA: This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases into air freshener.--FLYAGRA: This drug shows great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).--LIAGRA: This drug helps men lie more successfully when asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Political Strength versions.