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Signs You're No Longer in College...

-- You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.-- Your potted plants stay alive.-- You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.-- Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.-- You attend parties that the police don't raid.-- You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.-- You refer to college students as "those kids."-- You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.-- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.-- At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.-- Naps are no longer weekday options.-- Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.-- Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.-- You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.

Next: Yo' Mama Is So Old... Jurassic Park
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