A father and son were on a fishing trip when the dad pulled out a beer."Can I have one, Dad?""Can your d**k touch your a**hole?""No.""Then you can't have one." The dad took out a cigarette."Dad, can I smoke one, too?""Can your d**k touch your a**hole?""No.""Then you can't have one."On the way back, the dad bought two lottery tickets, one for his son and one for him. The dad won two dollars and the son won $500. The dad was surprised and a bit jealous."You're going to share that with me, aren't you, son?""Can your d**k touch your a**hole?""Yes.""Then go f**k yourself."