It was Christmas Eve, and a lady hadn't had sex in a long time, so she decided to wait for Santa. When he came down the chimney, she took off her shirt and said, "Ooh Santa, please stay."

And he said, "Ho ho ho, guess I better go, gotta get toys to children, ya know."

So she took off her pants and said, "No no - please stay."

And he replied, "Ho ho ho, guess I better go, gotta get toys to children, ya know."

So she took off everything else, and said, "Ooh, please stay."

And he said, "Hey hey hey, guess I better stay, can't get up the chimney with my d**k this way!"