A real tough guy dies and goes to hell. He tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hell's all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for three days.

After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says, "I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this."

So Satan tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks.

So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says "I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dryspells that were hotter and longer than this."

Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months.

After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking, "What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"