Alabama: At Least We're Not MississippiAlaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!Arizona: But It's a Dry HeatArkansas: Litterasy Ain't EverthingCalifornia: As Seen on TVColorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't BotherConnecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less CharacterDelaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in Our WaterFlorida: Ask Us About Our GrandkidsGeorgia: Without Atlanta We're AlabamaHawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... OK, Maybe Not, But The Potatoes Are Real GoodIllinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave FreeIowa: We Do Amazing Things With CornKansas: First Of The Rectangle StatesKentucky: 5 Million People; Seven Last NamesLouisiana: We're Not All Drunk CajunsMaine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap LobsterMaryland: A Thinking Man's DelawareMassachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden'sMichigan: First Line of Defense From the CanadiansMinnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 MosquitoesMississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own StateMissouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at WorkMontana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies and Very Little ElseNebraska: Ask About Our State Motto ContestNevada: Whores and Poker!New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us AloneNew Jersey: You Want a F**kin' Motto? I Got Yer F**kin' Motto Right Here!New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent PetsNew York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney... North Carolina: Tobacco is a VegetableNorth Dakota: We Really are One of the 50 States!Ohio: We Wish We Were In MichiganOklahoma: Like the Play, Only No SingingOregon: Spotted Owl -- It's What's For DinnerPennsylvania: Cook With CoalRhode Island: We're Not Really An IslandSouth Carolina: We Have Never Actually Surrendered to the NorthSouth Dakota: Closer Than North DakotaTennessee: The Educashun StateTexas: A Whole 'Nother Country!Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your JesusVermont: YepVirginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really!Wisconsin: Come Cut Our CheeseWyoming: Wynot?